- Education & Catastrophe
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- How To Argue Well
Image credit: The New York Times / Illustration by Sam Whitney
Pamela Paul is fast becoming my favourite New York Times op-ed writer. In an op-ed piece she wrote last week, she postulated that the world is becoming more polarised because we are terrible at arguing with one another.
A Good Argument is Productive, not Polarising
"Part of the problem may be that we’re not arguing over the right things. Part of the problem may be that we’re not arguing well. And part of the problem may be that we’re not arguing enough."
She quoted Bo Seo, a two-time world debating champion, who observed that "we disagree badly: Our arguments are painful and useless."
"In a polarised environment, it tends to escalate the level of conflict and people start to view those who disagree with them as enemies who need to be vanquished. And that’s one of the greatest problems of the polarisation dynamic is that we stop seeing those who disagree with us as human beings who deserve dignity and respect. And we see them instead as evil people who need to be moved out of the way."
The inability to argue well is problematic because polarisation does not just occur in geo or national politics. The workplace can be polarising (Google has fired a number of AI researchers for their views on, well, AI). Communities can be polarising (the death of Queen Elizabeth II has reignited the debate about abolishing the monarchy). Social media platforms are not helping - anyone can call somebody they disagree with an idiot on Facebook, Twitter etc. And that assumes the person calling out uses a real name. It's just as easy to create an anonymous account and troll people endlessly.
Principles of a Good Argument
Pamela Paul suggests a few principles to abide by in real life.
"First, know when to engage. Arguments, Seo reminds us, are “easy to start and hard to end.” For a dispute to go well, it should be real, important and specific. You need to have a point to make, not just an emotional conflict or complaint to air.
Next, pause to consider how important that point is and whether it’s worth arguing over.
Finally, stick to the specific dispute at hand so that the argument doesn’t expand or spiral. If the disagreement really is over the dishwasher (and look, there’s often cause), don’t let it become a referendum on your marriage."
Arguing Well is a skill gained over time and practice
As with most skills, the younger you learn how to argue well, the easier it is and the better you get at it. And as with most things in mainstream education, if it is not assessed it is not taught. Not every school has a debating club, and the ones that do only have a tiny fraction of the student population in the club. In any case, competitive debate is not necessarily a great model for healthy discourse. The novelist Ben Lerner spent years as a debater and had to unlearn the idea that "every conversation ended with a winner and a loser."
At Doyobi, listening and valuing others with an open heart is one of our main learning pillars. We call this global perspectives. There are a few aspects to this, starting with getting kids from different nationalities and cultural backgrounds to learn to interact with each other. Through collaborative problem-solving, kids learn that their group mates may not look or speak like them, but that does not make their opinions any less worthy. Through role playing in online quests, they also learn to figure out what's worth debating over and what's not. The number of refugees they can take in without crippling the resources of the community - that is important. What colour to paint the town hall - not so much.
I don't think many people want the world we live in to be any more polarised than it is today. It starts with healthy public discourse and constructive disagreements.
"Approaching arguments with reason, logic, respect and empathy can help people handle opposing views."
We need to learn to do this. Our kids need to learn to do this. Just don't leave it to school.
I hope this issue of Education & Catastrophe helps us take a small step towards making the world less polarised.
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Till the next issue!